


Aku Cinta Kamu

by teenagef00lery



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Break Up, Gay, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, New York, Rebound, depressed, drunk, shadowhunter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 11:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenagef00lery/pseuds/teenagef00lery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-break up, Alec is unstable and spends the majority of his time silencing the pain with bourbon and the company of blind mundanes. He is wasted and desperate, when a certain enemy Shadowhunter finds him drunk and hopeless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alec

Alec was wasted. He spent most of his time now bent over the bottle, and later, hugging a toilet as the acid punished him for his mistakes. So here he was, in a mundane bar, downing yet another glass of bourbon. The liquid burned his throat as it slid down, but nothing would heat the ice in his heart. He knew he should be at the Institute, or searching for Jace, or hunting for..for something. He didn’t even know anything. He didn’t have a clue what anything meant anymore. The young Shadowhunter was broken and he was lost. He cursed himself, looking down at his scarred, pale hands. They blurred before his eyes.

Someone sat beside him. A man’s shoulder brushed against his roughly and Alec turned, narrowing his sharp blue eyes at the person beside him. He slurred as he tried to question him. Through Alec’s fogged vision, he saw a gleam of silver hair, the dark traces of runes on the man’s strong, pale arms. A small alert when off in Alec’s mind. Hey! You know this guy! Do something!

He shrugged it off. He took his last sip of whiskey, the fire burning in his belly. “Hey…” He mumbled to the boy. With a small interest, Alec noticed his chiseled jaw; he was handsome. Sure, Alec couldn’t see straight and all he could focus on were the shadows dancing across the man’s face, and his dark, dark eyes gleaming at him malevolently in the darkness of the bar. But he was handsome. He was no High Warlock of Brooklyn, but he’d have to do. 

“Hello Alexander Lightwood,” the boy flashed a perfect grin, slight points to his teeth, like he was ready to tear into Alec like a piece of raw meat. “You look like you could use a…a friend.” His voice was melodic, harmonious. Alec was so desperate. He missed Magnus. He missed him so much. If he squinted hard enough, maybe he could turn this beautiful boy into the slender cat-like man who once held him with all the love in the world. 

“Yeah,” Alec heard himself slur. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.” He paid the bartender, and slid his arm around the boy’s shoulder. He smelled like metal and darkness. And under that, Alec could smell the faint scent that clung to Jace. He pushed it out of his mind. He had to think this was Magnus.

The boy’s strong grasp supported Alec and soon they were out on the humid streets of Manhattan. “C’mon,” with a grunt, the boy hoisted Alec into a cabby and once the door shut behind them, Alec’s hands were fumbling in the dark for his belt. Magnus, he thought. 

He heard the boy chuckle, low, with hot lips brushing against his ear lobe. “Now, now, Mr. Lightwood, do you really want a Morgenstern to touch you?” 

With a low growl in his throat, Alec pressed Sebastian’s head down between his legs, commanding him to shut up, and let his thoughts wander to the tan man with the long hands and the cat-line grin.


	2. Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Alec disappears with Sebastian, Magnus feels the sharp pain of betrayal, the way a parabatai would feel their bond breaking.

Magnus had felt it, the betrayal like a chord snapping in his chest. He thought only parabatai felt that connection. Only Shadowhunters could feel linked pain and suffering. He had heard the tale of Will Herondale many times, how his rune had bled as his beloved Jem had died. Yet here he was, in a hotel room in eastern Manhattan, on the floor clutching his chest. His heart beat rapidly, which was abnormal. He was used to the slow, rhythmic pump of his organ, the tune that told him he was immortal. But now it thrived like a humming bird in his chest. Pain flared across his rib cage and he saw himself from an outer perspective as he crawled to the door, Chairman Meow mewing helplessly after him; He watched himself, stand up shakily, blue sparks lighting his fingertips and his pupils slitting until they were completely engulfed by the yellow color of his eyes. 

The anger welled up over the pain. Magnus saw red. But more than the red, he saw black and silver. He knew the eyes that flitted behind his eyelids. They were Jonathan Morgenstern’s eyes. Sebastian. Not much happened in this city that Magnus didn’t know about and once he broke free of the doors of the hotel, he heard the whispers of the downworlders, the accusations about how Magnus’s lover was tramping around; he was last seen with the boy with the demon eyes and the silver hair. They were near East Village. On impulse, Magnus dived into the nearest place he knew a portal lie, and he was instantly standing on the streets of Brooklyn. His home. He knew this town. And in seconds, he spotted that beautiful black head slumping out of a taxi cab, zipping up his pants. 

Rage flared in Magnus- why was he zipping up his pants?!-, but under that rage, he felt relieved to see Alec. He looked unharmed. He looked….drunk, but unharmed. 

Then came the silver head of Sebastian slinking out of the car after Alec. Magnus saw him wipe his mouth, licking his fingertips as he said something to Alec. Alec shoved him forward, towards an alley way. Magnus had never seen Alec so rough with a person he wasn’t fighting. But they weren’t fighting. That much was obvious.

Magnus knew it was foolish, yet he felt his legs stiffly carry himself over to them. He watched as his tan hands closed around Sebastian’s throat, squeezing it tightly. 

And then Alec saw him. Those cold blue eyes fell on Magnus, and he could see the love and the hate there. He could see how broken Alec was. He could see how confused he was to see Magnus there, as if he were a dream.

And then time began again, and Sebastian twisted in the warlock’s grasp. A blade was drawn, pressed against Magnus’ gut. Sparks flew from his hands and Magnus mumbled spell after spell. 

Alec watched him in stunned amazement as invisible cuffs bound Sebastian’s strong wrists together. The blessed metal singed the demon-child’s skin. Magnus smirked as he struggled, cursing at Magnus. For the sheer joy of it, Magnus punched Sebastian squarely in the jaw. Once in the gut. He kneed him in the groin and smirked in pleasure as the boy groaned and crumpled in on himself. Magnus hoped that he had been hard. How dare he admire his lover and get turned on by him? Magnus spit in his face, and it sizzled like acid. 

Blood ran down Sebastian’s pretty face. Magnus spoke an enchantment, his hands shooting sparks like a party popper. The boy writhed in pain as a fire engulfed his legs. “Dance!” Magnus laughed. “I pull your strings now; just as you’ve done to my friends for months now.” Magnus took the blade Sebastian held to his gut not moments before. One stab for Jace. One stab for Clary. One stab for Isabelle. One stab for Max. 

And lastly, a slice to the throat, for his love. Alec stared, stunned and sputtering, as blood splattered against Magnus. 

The warlock let the dagger clatter to the ground. He looked at Sebastian. The blood from his wounds ran black now, like a demon’s, and Magnus half expected him to disintegrate like one. His body was limp and contorted on the ground, and he saw his runes fading away. 

“Magnus…” Alec’s jaw dropped. “Jace…” He uttered, looking down at Sebastian’s dead body.

Dread overwhelmed Magnus, and he ran. He ran faster than he had ever ran before. Not only had Magnus slaughtered the terrorist of the Shadowhunters of the 21st century, he had murdered Alec’s parabatai. What had he done?


	3. Alec

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Magnus' murders Sebastian, Alec is left to clean up the warlock's mess only to realize he has to clean his own mess up as well.

He watched Magnus' dark head disappear down the road as he sprinted away. How did he run so fast? Alec decided it was the length of his legs. Surely one of his steps was equal to about five of Clary's. He shook his head. How had Magnus known where they were? How had he known right after.... Oh god, what had Alec done?

Blood leaked into his shoes. Alec looked down at Sebastian's stone-still body that lay at his feet. Dark black blood pooled around him and his midnight eyes stared emptily up at the starry sky. Alec checked his pulse again. Still nothing. Yet he still didn't trust this. They had left Sebastian left for dead one too many times; he pulled out his phone and called the number he knew would come to his rescue regardless of the time of night. 

After a few rings, Isabelle picked up, sounding breathless and flustered and, as always, snippy. "What?"

"Uhh, hey.." Alec trailed off. He heard her sigh; ever since the break up, she had been treating Alec with the patience one associates with an adult caring for a sick child. "I need your help with something. I'm by Simon's apartment." 

The sound of a zipper being zipped up sounded over the receiver and Alec thought he heard the Daylighter's voice mumbling quietly to Izzy. He bit back the taste of vile in his mouth, nudging Sebastian with the toe of his boot. "And hurry; you're definitely going to want to see this." 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alec sat on the side of the road, his elbows bent on his knees, and his head in his hands. He was still getting over the initial shock of seeing Magnus. He looked amazing; all tall, dark, and handsome; his eyes were shadowed with make up and an excessive amount of glitter. Alec noticed that Magnus now wore his hair lank and straight and it cascaded around his slender, tan face like a satin curtain. It looked good. Really good. God, Alec missed him. He recalled that flaming passion in his cat-slitted eyes. Alec had only seen that passion twice in his lover's eyes: when they fought side by side in Idris and when Alec had first allowed Magnus to touch him. It was so reassuring to see those blue sparks encircle Sebastian's wrist and to watch Magnus mutilate the demon boy's perfect face. Alec had never seen the warlock fight so physically. He didn't even know Magnus knew how to throw a punch. 

God, he needed a drink. Or he needed to be sick. 

He violently retched a few times as he waited for Izzy to come. It was painful, yet nothing came up. His sister was in Manhattan at the Institute, and he was all the way in Eastern Brooklyn. It'd take some time for her to arrive. He hoped she brought Jace. Furthermore, he hoped Jace was well enough to come on his own accord. He still slightly doubted that the bond between Jace and Sebastian had been completely severed when he engulfed the Angel's wrath. He hoped beyond hope that he was alive. He missed his parabatai with a longing he felt deeper than his love for Magnus. He missed his brother. It had been so long since they had acted like Parabatai. Ever since Jace had found Clary, they no longer trained together; they very rarely even fought side-by-side in battles. Jace was too busy caring for the girl he loved. Alec couldn't blame him. He knew Jace too well to hold a grudge against him. When Jace loved, he loved with his whole heart and was blind to everything around him. 

Alec traced his parabatai rune. He remembered how badly it had hurt when the battle in Idris took place. It had begun to bleed and the blackness faded to a silver scar. Alec didn't know if that was normal, but he didn't tell anyone about it- except Magnus. Magnus claimed Jace must have been near death and then Magnus told him a tale of two Shadowhunters whose bond was deeper than Jacob and David, the first battle brothers, themselves; the two had been so close that once one of them died, the other's rune had bled and faded to a silver scar and the boy had felt the chord between himself and his other half snap. Alec looked down at the rune. Alec remembered the aching pain he felt late in the night during his and Magnus' trip around the world. It came late at night in sharp, angry bursts. He held the rune as a fire trailed along it, as he wept and screamed into the darkness out for Jace. Magnus had held him and comforted him, telling him that the distance was straining the chord between them. It was taut and Alec was feeling it. Alec recalled the heat he felt engulfing his lungs as Jace was swallowed by the Heavenly fire. He doubted it was even half of what Jace experienced, but it was still Hell. It was the worst pain Alec had ever felt. He felt Jace's pain. The black rune was a thin grey now and seemed to make his skin paler. 

He had read somewhere that parabatai were like one soul shared between two bodies. He wondered if Jace ever felt Alec's pain. 

A yellow cab pulled forward and Alec's heart leapt as he saw Isabelle, Simon, and Jace- clad in gear- emerge from it. Isabelle gave a gasp as her eyes fell onto Sebastian dead on the ground. Simon inhaled sharply, and looked like he had something sour between his teeth. A brief flash of emotion crossed Jace's face- was that sadness?- and he rushed over to Sebastian's side, checking his pulse. Alec watched as his parabatai counted, and recounted, until standing up quickly, turning to look at Alec with a hollow look. "Did you do this?" 

A sudden image flashed behind Alec's mind's eye: Magnus, tall and sardonic, standing before the Clave on trial. Panic surged through his veins like the Angel's blood. His eyes widened and he gripped Jace's broad shoulders pulling him close. He whispered sharply, "You can't tell the Clave. They'll kill him. The law is the law and Sebastian, he- he's still a Shadowhunter. He broke the accords. You can't tell anyone!" 

Jace looked lost and surprised at Alec's abruptness. He nodded slowly, but he didn't seem to comprehend. "Sure, brother. I won't tell them. Who did this? You can tell me."

"Magnus, obviously." Simon said bluntly. He had Sebastian slung over his shoulder now. Alec hadn't realized how Simon had grown since that first day he met him as a mundane. He carried himself with a sure confidence now, a poise that went deeper than just the Change. He no longer was the helpless mundane in the dorky t-shirts that made no sense to Alec. It had been less than a year, and Simon had grown about two. That made Alec strangely sad. Simon would live forever with his warlock and continue to mentally age; yet he would be forever young, just like Magnus. Alec would not. Alec must have flinched or looked upset, because Simon hung his head and mumbled an apology to him.

Dawning realization crossed Jace's face and Isabelle took Alec's hand, standing tall and confidence, as a Lightwood should. Her red pendant hung from her slender throat and her gold whip coiled around her wrist. Jace stood facing his brother, here and stable and familiar. His gold eyes searched Alec's slightly sobered gaze. "Well, what should we do, Alec?" Suddenly they were young again, three little kids trying to conjure up a lie to tell their mother to avoid getting in trouble. The hopeful eyes of his younger sister and brother looked expectantly up at him. Alec was the oldest. He was a member of the Conclave. He called the shots. "Take him to the Silent Brothers. But don't tell them about Magnus. They can't know he did this." 

"What do we tell them? We can't just say we simply found him here." Izzy interjected. Her blue eyes were locked on the demon in her boyfriend's arms. 

Alec shook his head. "Tell them I did it." He took the blade off the ground that Magnus had sliced Sebastian's throat with, rubbed his fingerprints over it, and carved an angelic rune into it. The now blessed blade gleamed in his hand, the black demon blood on it burning. "Take this. It should be proof enough that a Shadowhunter did this." 

"What about you?" His parabatai gripped his wrist, staring into his eyes. Any doubt Alec had felt about Jace no longer being connected to him vanished. Alec felt the spark of their chord connecting. With a look, Alec told Jace what he was going to do. Jace understood. He obliged. He supported him. 

"You go." If Simon, a foolish mundane could learn to adapt regardless of the hardships he faced, if Isabelle could stand strong in the face of danger and be courageous in front of the murderer of their younger brother, if Jace could bear the fire of heaven to save them all, he could fix his own troubles. "I have something I have to do."

And with that, the boy with the black hair and the blue eyes made his way for High Brooklyn.


	4. Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is left to wallow in the guilt of killing Alec's Parabatai, and not even Chairman Meow will provide him comfort.

As Magnus fled, he saw only one thing: the heartbroken stare of Alec's cold blue eyes gazing at him. He had always had a weakness for dark haired boys with blue eyes, but Alec was different. He made Magnus' knees shake. His heart fluttered in his chest and his stomach preformed acrobatic tricks in his stomach at simply the thought of him. 

What had he done? He had ruined any chance he had ever had with Alec. He had killed his Parabatai! He had murdered Sebastian in cold blood. He had been blinded by rage and jealousy and pain. He had broken the accords.

Magnus ran harder- he ran harder than he could ever remember, aside from that one time in Peru when a howler monkey had falsely accused him of having aspirations of mating with said monkeys females. He felt weary and exhausted. Blood had dried on his hands and on the dazzling coat he wore. His straight hair had hardened with it like a bad styling gel. 

Within minutes Magnus found himself at the foot of his apartment. Chairman Meow glowered down at him through the window as if he knew what Magnus had done. Magnus wondered fleetingly how the cat had gotten home. He shrugged. Perhaps someone had seen him leave the hotel in distress and wanted to care for the moody cat. The tabby had been in a fowl mood since the break-up and had been ignoring Magnus for weeks, leaving him "presents" in places other than the litter box. Magnus supposed the cat was mourning for his Shadowhunter friend. Alec always knew how to touch just the right spot to leave him crumpled and purring on the carpet.

That makes two of us, Magnus thought dryly as he unlocked his flat and walked in. First things first. He had to get clean. He couldn't dwell on the ache in his chest nor could he wallow in sadness of a lost love. He had lost plenty already. What was one more? He was a Shadowhunter anyway. Didn't Magnus tell him that a dark storm was brewing and he didn't want to be there to experience it? 

Sure, that's what he had said. But in truth, he couldn't experience Alec dying. He knew the young Shadowhunter would not, could not, win this war. And Magnus wasn't going to sit there and watch his lover be slaughtered. He wouldn't stay for that.

And yet, he couldn't quite leave Brooklyn. He had been here since the founding of the New World. He came here after he had fought beside Will Herondale, another black haired boy with striking blue eyes. He told Tessa he was going to come here, and he had. Sure, he still traveled from time to time. But for nearly a century Magnus had stayed here. This was his home. And if he thought too long on it, yes, he'd realize that a part of him stayed here to make sure Alec was safe.

But Magnus had broken him. His hands shook. Right, the blood. 

With sluggish feet, Magnus walked to the bathroom and started the shower. Steam filled the room and Magnus took off his coat. He heard Chairman Meow make a retched noise, like he was dying. Magnus sighed. That cat would have to stop crying into the night for Alec. If Magnus could hold himself back from wailing into the night for him, then Chairman Meow would have to learn how to as well. 

Magnus was about to take off his slacks when he heard a loud knock on the door. Ah, he thought. It was only a matter of time before the Clave showed up to take him away. He had broken the accords- fugitive or not. It had to be a Shadowhunter to kill Sebastian, because it was Shadowhunter politics. Magnus knew this. He hadn't realized they would find out so quickly. Of course, if Jace had just dropped dead, the Institute would know that Sebastian had been killed. Alec would call in the incident. The Clave would come after him. He sighed again. Oh well. Maybe he'd be locked away in the Silent City as the war destroyed the human realm. 

He walked out, brushing his knuckles over Chairman Meow who paced in front of the door, purring considerably. "You are such a traitor." Magnus scratched behind his ears. "You would pick any Shadowhunter, even the Clave, over me, huh? Are my dinners that unruly? I promise for my last meal I will request that they feed my cat a five star lobster course with a side of tuna and salmon for dessert." In reply, Meow brushed up against the door, waiting for it to be open. Magnus did so.

A Shadowhunter stood before the shirtless warlock. But it was not the Clave. It was Alec, with his black hair gleaming beneath the moonlight and his eyes as dark as blue topaz. He was sweating and Magnus watched as a single bead traced the muscles in Alec's Marked throat till it disappeared beneath his collar. His eyes were wide and his face seemed paler than usual. Magnus could smell liquor on the boy. Alec looked ashamed, but not sad. Most of all, Magnus noted, he looked alive. his youthful face was full of light and the shadows below his eyes seemed to lighten. His lips were lush and color was rising in his face. His wet tongue flicked over his bottom lip. Alec's eyes were trained on Magnus as if he were a demon he were hunting. Magnus waited for Alec to attack him, to stab him for killIng his parabatai. 

And suddenly his lips were on Magnus; Alec claimed Magnus' mouth and ran his tongue along his bottom lip. Magnus responded instantly, his hands grasping Alec's narrow hips and pulling him inside and closing the world away from them. He tasted blood on the Shadowhunter's lips, and under that, the familiar light and deliciousness that Magnus associated with Alec's mouth. Magnus pulled away briefly, pressing Alec against the nearest wall, and brought his lips down onto Alec's throat. He suckled over the Runes that marked his skin and licked the crevice below his earlobe. Magnus felt the boy shudder and he felt hands locking into his own hair. A light tug let him know he was doing the right thing at the right place.

The warlock pressed his hips forward, circling and grinding them against Alec's and a gasp escaped his lips. His face was flushed dark red and his dark hair fell into his eyes. Magnus' heart fluttered like a trapped bird. He wanted so badly for this to continue, but Magnus did not want to hurt Alec. He wanted Alec to forgive him. He needed to be forgiven before anything could ever happen between them again. "Alexander," he began. His voice trembled and he drew in a shallow breath and tried again. "Alec, we need to talk."

Alec's eyes widened and Magnus saw the fear spark behind them. It tugged against his heart. He wanted more than anything in the world to just lean forward and kiss away the small worry line the lay between his eyes. It made him look young, vulnerable. And then he sighed, the fire in his heart dying. "You're right."

"Of course I am." Magnus tried to say lightheartedly. "Now stay here while I clean up. Chairman Meow has been completely awful since you've been gone. Maybe you can cheer him up."


End file.
